What's Going On in Pakistan?

Pakistan's military dictator, General Musharraf is planning to step down as military leader and assume the role of an civilian president after weeks of civil unrest amongst the nation's people.

From Reuters:

Pakistan's General Pervez Musharraf said farewell to military colleagues on Tuesday as he prepared to become a civilian president ahead of January's general election.

Musharraf visited Joint Staff headquarters in Rawalpindi, a day before he steps down as army chief to fulfil one of the long-held demands of his political rivals and Western allies.

All main opposition parties have signed up for the January 8 parliamentary election, but former prime ministers Benazir Bhutto and Nawaz Sharif, both back in Pakistan after years of exile, have said they may still boycott the vote which is being organised under emergency rule.

Musharraf will be sworn in as a civilian president on Thursday, his spokesman said, after securing a second five-year term thanks to a new panel of friendly judges who validated his October 6 election victory.

There may be a simpler explanation for what's going on here than our media is telling. The Dominion may have launched this attempted coup and replaced Pakistan's government officials with shape shifters.

So what do the scriptures tell us about these recent world events? Turn with me now to Star Trek Deep Space Nine 4:2.

A similar scenario took place on Cardassia. Civil unrest overthrew that planet's military government causing notorious career opportunists like Gul Dukat to give up their military posts and join the new civilian government as Legits. The Klingon Empire under the command of Chancellor Gowron took the initiative and launched a preemptive strike against Cardassia fearing a Dominion inspired coup was in progress which would give these minions of evil a foothold in the Alpha Quadrant.

Now I realize it's difficult for us, as Americans, to imagine any government launching a military strike against a nation for no apparent reason other than the possibility that they may become a threat to security in the future based on shaky and circumstantial evidence. But this is the Klingon way and we must accept it if we are to walk with Starfleet.

Captain Benjamin Sisko, our Holy Starfleet Captain, expressed concern that the hasty actions of Klingons might be a threat to intergalactic peace. But the revered Constable Odo, himself a Changeling from the Gamma Quadrant tells us:

If my people we're going to overthrow a government that is how they would do it.

Captain Sisko, being all-knowing and all-wise, decided to side with the cause of peace and oppose the preemptive invasion. But he did take one very important precaution. He demanded that all of the rescued Cardassians be subjected to blood screenings to ensure that Gowron and the Klingon Empire weren't right.

So here's what we can do. Endorse Musharraf's new government only after he and his entire cabinet submit to blood screenings. Demand that all Pakistani government installations be subject to phaser sweeps- in case Dominion operatives are posing as coffee cups or pieces of furniture. It's a simple precaution, people. And if our government cannot bring itself to accept the Truth that Starfleet Command teaches us, perhaps they, themselves, should be treated to a few rounds of blood screenings and phaser sweeps.

If the Dominion gains a foothold here on Earth, our way of life will be over. And until people start pulling their heads out of their asses and begin to realize the threat presented to us by the Founders, we will not be secure even in our very own homes. This is serious!

The time for action is now and the time to kneel down before the Warp Drive is at hand.

Fred Thompson on Church and State

One of our modern day nihilist voters, who probably just finished reading an Incredible Hulk comic book, asked Republican presidential candidate, Fred Thompson, about religion.

Thompson replied,

“I believe in the separation of church and state,” Thompson said, drawing a distinction between church and religion. “I don’t think the church as a church ought to have a position in government… I didn’t say religion I said the church, so that’s a different -- that’s a different kind of thing. I mean our founding fathers -- I mean whether you’re talking about, you know, what’s written in the Supreme Court or the United States Senate or opening prayers or anything like that -- our founding fathers, of course, would never have separated religion totally.”

Like all the presidential candidates, Thompson seems to have forgotten that this nation was founded upon the word handed down to us by Superman through DC Comics and the awesome protection which we all enjoy from the Bat. How can any nation separate a its well being from the one true church that promises to smash all evil doers and their minions of destruction?

And of course, he completely neglects to mention the founders of the United Federation of Planets or the five Holy Starfleet Captains when discussing prayer and morality, but this is what this country has come to. No one should be surprised.

There can be no doubt that he too is on the Legion of Doom's payroll and seeks to advance the sinister motives of Gorilla Grodd and Lex Luthor. To find the real Fred Thompson's morals, one would likely have to travel to the Delta Quadrant and give a thorough inspection of a Borg drone's alcove.

Tags:
Fred Thompson, Legion of Doom, Country with No Morals, Election 2008

Offering Thanks

A Holiday is upon us and I think we should all take a moment to give thanks to the Justice League of America and Starfleet Command. It is because of them that you will be able to enjoy the good company of family, strangers and friends alike without the fear of a Legion of Doom reprisal.

Thanks to the JLA, you'll be able to hit the bars after stuffing your face full of turkey and mashed potatoes without having to worry about the Joker dropping poisonous laughing gas on you or having to put your alcohol soaked brain cells to work trying to solve one of the Riddler's puzzles. It is because of the JLA and Starfleet that you'll be able to go out and get tanked without having to worry about an invasion from Apokolips or the Borg Collective while your trying to stagger your way to the cab.

Just remember while you're eating that turkey and later, out there polishing off that 15th bottle of beer the Green Lantern Corps, Hawkgirl, Wonder Woman, the Batman, and the Martian Manhunter and the wonderful blessings they bestow upon us. Remember Captains James T. Kirk, Jean Luc Picard, Benjamin Sisko, Kathryn Janeway, and Jonathan Archer and the sacrifices they make everyday saving this quadrant from impending disaster.

To our Starfleet Captains and our Heroes in the Justice League and Justice Society, we are forever grateful. May they continue to bless with their awesome powers, cool tools, and supreme starship navigational skills.

When you're toasting to the good times don't forget to those from this dimension, this quadrant, and this galaxy who make it possible.

About me...again

My friend Billy, from from Buzzard Billy has tagged me tell six secrets about myself. I really have no secrets. When I'm not celebrating the joy of Starfleet Command and spreading the word of Batman, I'm generally in deep meditation pondering on the ramifications of the current war between the Green Lantern Corps and the Sinestro Corps.

So have decided to reuse these little tidbits about myself as they are the closest things to secrets that I have:

- I was born from a fog somewhere in the hills of West Virginia. I'm not sure who my father is, but after some extensive research I have narrowed it down to either plant or animal.

- I'm not sure which year or century I was actually born, but I crawled out of the woods in 1970.

- I have two older half-brothers who are relatively famous: Pumpkinhead and the Mothman.

- The Mothman and I used to keep in touch on a regular basis, but me and Pumpkinhead haven't spoken since he threw away all of his DC comic books and started reading Marvel comic books instead because he claims they're "more adult".

- I speak four major languages: English, Spanish, Klingon, and Thanagarian.

- I've never left this planet, at least at anytime that I'm aware of.

- I picked up the newest Fantastic Four comic book off the shelf at the newsstand and thumbed through it before I knew what I was doing. Upon returning home, it took five showers to make me feel normal again (I think I'm going to call that store and ask them if they'll cover up those types of comic books so that such temptations can be avoided in the future. Dr. Doom? I mean come on).

- Our lives growing up were pretty normal. Me, Pumpkinhead, and the Mothman fought just like all brothers do, we all played sports in high school, listened to country, heavy metal, and rap, got decent grades and participated in school events, etc.. Some people thought we were a little odd, but really, we're just like everybody else.


*The pictures in this post are (in order) me, Pumpkinhead, and Mothman's senior pictures- we never really did care much for tuxedos.

DC Comictician 'o Meter

Check out this site. It places each of the presidential candidates in a circle based on their belief on the character called "God" from the comic book known as the Holy Bible.

Below is a picture which demonstrates where each candidate is on the DC Comictician Meter:


The fact that there ain't no names on this wheel is no accident. Not a single one of the candidates have expressed any support for the Green Lantern Corps or for the Justice League of America's fight against the Legion of Doom.

The only thing the candidates from either party are going to win in the end are 12 x 12 cells within the gates of Arkham Asylum.

Hat Tip to Raging Red for the link.

Damn, How Did We Miss This Deadline?

I wish we could have demanded got in on this too. After all, we know the Truth about evolution and intelligent design.

But good luck to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. They deserve equal time.

Flying Spaghetti Monster demanding equal time

Mankind has many religions — Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism — and don't overlook Pastafarianism.

At least, I think that's what it's called because the “religion's” adherents refer to themselves as Pastafarians. It's more commonly known as Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, or FSM.

Maybe you haven't heard of FSM. Its Pastafarians believe that a being known as the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe.

But, according to an Associated Press story, discussions of their beliefs will be on the agenda this weekend when religious scholars convene in San Diego for the annual meeting of the American Academy of Religion.

Nobody takes the Pastafarians seriously, least of all the Pastafarians, but serious scholars think the religion's growing fame in popular culture raises important questions about the essence of religion.

According to the AP, Pastafarianism emerged in 2005 during a debate in Kansas over the teaching of intelligent design in public school science classes.

Supporters of intelligent design question the validity of evolution theory and believe that the complexity of the universe is so great that science alone cannot explain it. Critics see it as religious faith masquerading as science.

A guy named Bobby Henderson, a young physics graduate, sent a letter to the Kansas School Board. He facetiously claimed to speak for 10 million followers of a being called the Flying Spaghetti Monster and demanded that their views be given equal time.

“We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it,” Henderson wrote. As for scientific evidence to the contrary, “what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage.”

Read this rest here.