The End is Near?

I ran across another person on the street today who claimed the end was near. He gave me a pamphlet that I glanced it at briefly and wondered what was going on. I thought maybe he had some information about Darkseid and his minions from Apokolips or something on the latest threat posed by the Sinestro Corps. Or maybe he had heard something new about the intentions of Kid Amazo. Afterall, he had books called the Watchtower so I figured maybe the Martian Manhunter had decided to start putting out a newsletter from the Justice League's space station to keep us mortals informed.

But the information in his pamphlets pertained to none of these important developments. Instead, it claimed that there was someone called "the anti-Christ" who was on the verge of taking over. So I had to ask him, "does this new supervillain have some kind of powerful weapon he's planning to use on us? Does he fly or have heat ray vision? Can he freeze us with some special power using his hands? Is he from Bizarro World?" The guy just looked at me while I patiently awaited his answers. Without saying another word, he moved on to the next passer-by.

Sometimes barely mentioning a villain's name can bring about eminent destruction and doom, saying the name of Mister Mxy****lk for example, so I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. But after I gazed over the pamphlet, I realized this guy was totally insane. This "anti-Christ" character had no special powers or ingenious devices of destruction and domination.

Now, if I read the thing right, he's supposed to unite the world under one government- hardly the work of a criminal mastermind like the Penguin or Captain Cold. Then apparently four horsemen are supposed to ride down out of the sky and smite the earth with fire with nothing but some old trumpets. I mean come on. Superman, Wonder Woman, and Batman could handle these jerk-offs themselves without even having to call upon the rest of the League. At the root of all this nonsense is some character named Satan- who's only power seems to be influencing people to have sex out of wedlock and say swear words out loud.

I'm not impressed. And I just can't imagine people believing in stuff like this, much less fearing it. Once they get a taste of Granny Goodness or perhaps an early Borg invasion, they're going to realize this Satan character is about as threatening as a thief trying to mug pedestrians with a wet noodle.


Tags:
Anti-Christ, End of the World, Superman, Wonder Women, Batman, Satan, Four Horsemen

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