Accepting the Heroes of Others

I was driving through a nearby city when I caught sight of a local comic store. I pulled into the parking lot and headed inside to pray with a fellow believer for Batman's guidance or perhaps join the celebration of Green Arrow and Black Canary's joining in holy matrimony.

When I got to the door, I was immediately greeted by the symbol of the Flash. I dropped to my knees in honor of the fallen Flash, Bart Allen, and called upon the prior Flash, Wally West, to smite thine enemies from the Rouges Gallery who were responsible for the demise of Allen.

Once I rose from my personal religious revival, I then saw something that didn't set well at all- a neon light with the word "Marvel" on it. Things got worse from there.

I went to the shelves to find some oracles of Truth and the eternal sources of knowledge from DC comics were mixed right in with Marvel's false prophecies. Everything was in alphabetical order so the Hulk was right next to Hawkman. Superman and Spiderman shared a section. Truth mixed in with lies; it can't get anymore offensive than this.

As all this Legion of Doom inspired secular humanism sinks deeper into society, we are being forced in our schools and public institutions to accept this multi-comicbookism where all ideas and superheros are supposed to be treated with equality, understanding, and acceptance.

The Justice League and the Justice Society are the only true superheros. The Marvelites, who believe that Batman was just another citizen of Gotham City, are trying to force feed our children with the notion that Iron Man or Daredevil can save this world and others from the threats we face from evil supervillains everyday. They are using the guise of multi-comicbookism to advance their Marvel-based agenda.

We've got to get back to the basics. If children are taught to think about the way other heroes act and believe without acknowledging infinite greatness of Plastic Man and the Green Lantern, they are going to become confused. They will be led to think Dr. Doom is something other than some weird scientist in a creepy mask, who'd piss his pants at the first sign of Aquaman or the Huntress. They won't know whether to call on Batgirl or Electra when the signs of Poison Ivy start becoming evident. This is clearly an unacceptable breach of common sense.

The end result is that we will be doomed to failure. Teaching kids about the Marvelite world and why some people choose to follow false heroes is alright just so long as it is followed by a reaffirmation that entities with anger management problems like the Hulk are incapable of thwarting the Joker or solving one of the Riddler's riddles.

Make no mistake, this liberal multi-comicbookism that's creeping up everywhere is nothing more than a ploy to undermine the safety of this nation, the very fabric of our society and its traditional commitment to accept the Justice League as the only true saviors of this dimension and others.

Beware.

Tags:
DC Comics, Marvel Comics, Comic Books, Religious Bigotry